Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave...
... when at first we practice to deceive. So John and I had been dating for about 3 years, when I finally had had enough and broke up with him. A few days later, I stopped by my parents' house and happened to pick up a church bulletin and was browsing it while waiting for my Mom. And there, right under Birth Announcements was, "John & Megan welcome the addition of their twin boys, CJ and LL." Yes, that would be "my" John. This was only
days after I broke up with him, mind you. I always suspected that he was more than friends with Megan, but he always had some story to make me think I was crazy for even mentioning the notion. Turns out that they had been dating for 5 years, 3 of which he was supposedly exclusive with me. After we broke up, he proposed to me. I said no, and he then took the same ring and proposed to Megan (after the birth of their twins). Fool that she was, knowing that he had cheated on her for 3 years, she married him. I was lucky to get out when I did as theirs has not been an easy relationship. Certainly can't say the warning signs, flashing neon lights and all, weren't there.
Anna, California
The Tall Tales
I dated this guy about 15 years ago, when I was young and very naive. Oh the stories he would tell. Problem is, I didn't know they were "stories" at the time. He told me that he was in a bad car accident and had a glass eye. Lie. He told me he was related to one of the guys in the boy band, New Kids on the Block. Lie. He told me that his mother kicked him out of the house. Lie. He told me that he stood to inherit his brother's car dealership. Lie. He told me that he had Crone's Disease (sp?). Lie. He told me that his friend had received some type of medal while serving in the military. Lie. He also repeatedly told me he loved me. Yeah. probably a lie too. Luckily at some point, I came to my senses.
Rachel, New York
Way to Go, Pepe!
I hadn't dated in about 3 1/2 years, and my friend John got wind of this. Now, John and I had known each other for several years, and he's a good guy. He set me up with Jon (no 'h'), who is 12 years my senior and a lawyer. I showed up to the Korean restaurant wearing a dress and heels - we were going to the symphony after that. First words out of his mouth? "Do you always wear heels?" Yes, with heels I'm taller than he is. Ok, so we have a complex. That's cool. Whatever. We sit down to dinner and he asks if he can order for me. A bit odd, but I'll play along. He orders one appetizer and one entree. Apparently we are a) sharing and b) cheap. Conversation is stiff but ok. We leave, and I offer to drive. All the way down he criticises my driving. "I wouldn't have changed lanes there." "I would have taken I-94, not Warren." Alright, this is starting to piss me off. But, all I have to do is get in there, the lights will go down, and we don't have to talk. The concert that evening was Pepe Romero, Spanish classical guitar. It was wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that Jon proceeds to clap, like a human being, then let's out a "Woohoo! Woohoo! Way to go Pepe!" at which point he turns to me and OFFERS ME A HIGH FIVE. I gave him my best withering teacher look and tell him "We don't do that at the symphony." The ride home was silent. I barely stopped the car to let him out.
Bethany, Michigan
Hey, Where'd You Go?
We had been dating for about three months, seeing each other a few times a week for dinner or a movie. Things had been going fairly well, although I wasn't head over heels yet and I still hadn't been to his place yet. Then one Friday, we had a date for dinner at 8. I got there a few minutes before and grabbed a drink at the bar. I waited ... and waited ... and waited. I finally called his cell number, only to find it disconnected. Same thing with his home phone. Never heard from him again and he seemed to disappear off the face of the earth. I'd like to think he just got whisked off to the Witness Protection Program, but who knows?
Cecelia, North Dakota
Three's a Crowd
I got ready for my blind date, excited, since it had been a few months since my last date. The friend that set me up mentioned that Brad was very close to his family. Sounded good to me. We had had a few conversations over the phone over the past week, and he seemed like a nice enough guy. The doorbell rang and I took one last pass in front of the mirror before I ran downstairs to open it. Tall, blonde hair and blue eyes, nice. But next to him, was a woman about 50 years old or so, looking strikingly like him. Brad introduced me to, yup, you guessed it, his mother. I've heard you can always tell how a guy will treat you by how he treats his mother. I just wasn't expecting to see it in action on our first date. First and last date.
Carla, Michigan
You're Taking Me Where?
I live in a medium-sized city in California, not a real racy or cutting edge town. I was going on the ever important second date. The first one had gone well, with dinner and drinks. There was chemistry, so I was looking forward to the second date. So we're in the car and I ask where we are headed (we'd only had a vague discussion about going to a club). He says "[name of club]." I say, "huh?" I'd never heard of it.
So we walk in and there are transvestites tending bar. There are men dancing with men and women dancing with women. He took me to a gay bar on our second date! Then, to make things even more complicated, he grabs my hand as we head to the bar. So is he holding my hand because he likes me or because he doesn't want to get hit on by men?
We actually ended up dating for about six months. Then one night on the phone he said, "talk to you tomorrow." I never heard from him again....
Elaine, California
I Don't Think So...
I had one date with a guy whose last name was (and presumably still is) D-I-C-K. I kid you not. No offense to those with the same last name, I just don't think I could have done it, and would definitely have kept my maiden name. His initials are LSD, and his brothers' initials are RED and WAD. His parents obviously had a wicked sense of humor. Luckily we only had one date and I escaped that bullet.
Ann, New York
A Dog of a Date
It's been so many years now, I have blocked out his name and how I met him, but I vividly recall our first and last date. He picked me up at work with his dog in the back seat. We did the small talk thing in the car and as we were driving, he asked if I minded if we stopped at the vet because his dog was sick. I said, "Sure, no problem." I can be agreeable like that on a first date. ;) We pulled into the vet's parking lot and trooped inside. I waited in the waiting room while he and his German Shepherd went in for their appointment. When he came out, he asked if I was hungry and since it was nearly 8 pm and salad at lunch was a distant memory, my answer was a resounding yes. He pulled into the McDonalds' drive-thru and asked me what I wanted. I'm all for dashboard dining, but for a first date? We ate in the car as he drove me home. I kid you not. That was the entire date. He called me constantly for a week after that, asking for a second date. He never did understand why I wouldn't go out with him again.
Cate, New Jersey
